Mr. Sato retires from being the first person in Japan to buy iPhones, watches this guy instead

Meet Butch, an old friend of Mr. Sato’s who is carrying the torch in the noble pursuit of iPhone launch notoriety.

Long time readers of this website will no doubt know of our writer Mr. Sato’s experiences lining up days in advance to become the first owner of the newest edition of iPhones in all the land.

However, as the years have gone by, this fairy-tale relationship seems to have soured. Let’s let the pictures tell the tale.





In the last episode, Mr. Sato – despite being the first in line to buy an iPhone 7 – had been completely shunned by his mobile service provider Docomo. Not only was he not on stage for the launch ceremony, but they corralled him behind a partition where he had to jump to see what was going on. Needless to say, he was a Pikachu scorned.

So with the iPhone 8 on the horizon, Mr. Sato decided to forego the heartbreak and stayed away from Docomo altogether. Instead, he headed over the to SoftBank venue in Ginza, where his long-time friend Butch (a.k.a. Big Wave) was settling in three days before the 22 September release date.

Mr. Sato and Butch met each other through the line-up circuit and our reporter found himself instantly charmed by Butch’s unbridled positivity. Back during the iPhone 6 release, he told media that he wanted the phone so he could call his grandmother.

Instagram Photo

It’s a little hard to describe Butch, but he’s a very genuine character and the kind of guy who will do whatever it takes to cheer people up. Although not an official member of our Japanese language websites’ staff, Big Wave has long been a valued contributor.

Three days later, Mr. Sato returned to the SoftBank shop for the iPhone 8 launch, but this time solely as a member of the press. Nevertheless, he was still excited to cheer on his good friend Big Wave who surely was the first in line and thus the star customer of the show.

Instagram Photo

Unlike previous years, this ceremony was held inside the shop and hosted by SoftBank vice president Ken Miyauchi along with actors Aya Ueto and Arata Furuta. However, Butch’s conspicuously dressed large frame was no where to be seen.

Usually, the first customer or customers are brought up on stage to give even a brief comment about their love of iPhones and such. But instead of Big Wave’s bubbly voice, they brought up some normie who had only been waiting in line since 5 a.m. that day.

After that, they counted down the final ten seconds until the store’s opening amid great fanfare and a few steamers to boot.

Then they announced that there would be a closed photo-shoot and interviews elsewhere and left.

That was it, and still no Big Wave…. “Maybe he went home,” thought Mr. Sato, “Maybe he got diarrhea….”

“Yeah, that’s it, that dude always got the sh… oh wait!”

“He’s here!” shouted Mr. Sato as he saw the neon mohawk of Butch bobbing around in the front row.

But why wasn’t he on the stage? Mr. Sato would have to wait until Big Wave bought his iPhone 8 before asking him.

A short time later Butch emerged from the shop with his tiny-looking mobile phone bag in hand.

Despite seemingly getting royally screwed over by SoftBank, Butch looked as happy as if nothing out of the ordinary occurred.

Mr. Sato called out right away, “What happened?!”

“Bad luck dude,” replied the smiling Butch.

He explained the everyone in line drew numbers to determine their order and Butch couldn’t get the coveted number one. In other words he pretty much wasted all that time waiting outside the store.

Normally this would infuriate a person, but living up to his name, Big Wave is always one who goes with the flow and didn’t let it get to him.

“I made it through the iPhone 8 line up buddy,” Butch told Mr. Sato, “Thanks dude! Again, thanks for all the support and hard work! I really appreciate it! POWER HUG!!!”

Next month, Apple is set to release their most expensive smartphone ever in the iPhone X, and supplies are rumored to be very limited.

The chances for another disastrous encounter with Docomo are extremely high, but Mr. Sato – infected by Butch’s enthusiasm – mulled giving it just one more try before the sun finally sets on this half-decade chapter in his life and he passes the torch for good to the younger generations like Butch.

At least we think Butch is younger…

Images: SoraNews24


5 Questions You Should Ask Yourself If You Think You Might Be Bisexual

Watching Baseball Is Punishment

17 Hilarious Tweets About Being Bi That'll Make You Want To Celebrate Bisexuality So Hard

You guys, if there's something I love more than pizza, literally any other food, sleeping for extended periods of time, and being right all the time, it's being bisexual. Seriously, it's the best thing ever. Want to know why? Well, aside from confidently knowing that bisexuality is a totally real, valid, and awesome identity, from knowing that I, a raging bisexual, actually exist, despite what a lot of people try to tell me, and from knowing that I get to love and be attracted to two genders of dope humans, these tweets about being bisexual also make bisexuality the best thing ever. Because they're hilarious. And I like laughing at funny things because I'm not a monster.

Want to know another really great thing about bisexuality? Today is apparently International Celebrate Bisexuality Day. WOW. What a day. I mean, I already celebrate my bisexuality every damn day on my own, but maybe since there's a whole day dedicated to celebrating an amazing identity, I can go a day without people telling me to “put the wine bottle down” and to “stop yelling about bisexuality so much because it's 2 a.m. and people are trying to sleep.” Ugh, whatever.

Anyway, here are a bunch of tweets about bisexuality, being bisexual, bi culture, and literally all other things being bi that will absolutely make you want to stand on top of a mountain, smash a beer can into your forehead, and scream, “I LOVE BEING BISEXUAL!!!!!” Or, you know, however else you wanna celebrate…


Also accurate. We bisexuals have the lowest possible bullshit threshold.

*One decently attractive dude walks by* GOD DAMN IT, I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH THIS.

Pink? Blue? Purple? Unicorn? I should cut it short, right? Nah, I'm gonna keep it long and only get a few natural highlights. LOL, JK. Getting bangs.

Literally, I just have to lock myself in a room, I guess, because TV characters won't LET ME LIVE.

Bisexuals: We know what we like.

“She's so cool and smart and funny and pretty, and I only think about making out with her because I secretly want her face.” — a statement I genuinely believed was logical growing up.

Please, continue serving my bi-ass life to me on a silver platter in 140 characters or less. Thank you.

Attention: Pausing your regularly scheduled funny tweets to let everyone know that bisexuality can be different for different people.

Bi update: It's not just today. I'm just a generally loud bisexual.

TBH, The Sims was very informative in my bisexual youth.

Blessed be the fruit of my bisexual ass.


I am amazing. Thank you for your time.

I love being on the winning team.

Damn, this is REAL.

Where. Is. The. Damn. Lie?

Wow, I feel so rejuvenated. I love being bi.

On this International Celebrate Bisexuality Day, make sure you go out and celebrate all your bisexual friends and loved ones. Give 'em a hug, if they're into that sort of thing. Buy 'em a drink. Yell about how great bisexuality is with them, because odds are, they're already doing it when they're alone, and the more, the merrier.

And if you're a raging bisexual like me, or a non-raging one, rest assured that you're 100 percent on a winning team. Any team in the LGBTQ+ community is winning. We're all winning.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

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17 Hilarious Tweets About Being Bi That'll Make You Want To Celebrate Bisexuality So Hard

Credit: Dating – Elite Daily

Fulfill your dreams of becoming Goku with a Flying Nimbus cushion and Kamehameha ball

These Dragon Ball accessories will send your power level skyrocketing.

Just mere mention of the words “Dragon Ball” is enough to summon an image of Goku winding up a huge Kamehameha wave. While it may seem that the closest we’ll ever get to becoming the protagonist of the action-packed series is through virtual reality, Japanese toy maker Bandai proves to us that it’s not a distant dream after all with two recently-released products.

The Flying Nimbus cushion (8,000 yen, US$71.43) is shaped like Goku’s cloud that he uses to zip around the world. Measuring 100 centimeters (39 inches) in length, it turns out this fluffy cloud isn’t so little after all.

▼ Touted as the biggest Flying Nimbus product ever made,
this would make even Goku jealous.

▼ Read your favorite Dragon Ball manga
while lounging on your very own cloud.

▼ This would be a welcome addition
to any Dragon Ball cosplay.

Besides also having limitless potential as a prop for fart jokes, this squishy cushion is a great accessory for any home. That’s not all though, as Bandai has another merchandise up its sleeve to complete the Goku experience that everyone deserves.

Equipped with touch sensors, the Kamehameha Ball (4,104 yen, US$36.64) lights up when held in your hand. It also vibrates and emits impressive sounds befitting a pulsing ball of spiritual energy.

▼ The handy wrist strap ensures you don’t drop your
Kamehameha in the heat of combat, which would be really embarrassing.

It’s not just any ball with flashing lights and vibrations though, as it comes packed with three modes that feel distinct from one another: the two-handed style Kamehameha, the weaker but faster one-handed Kidan, and the immensely powerful Spirit Bomb. These techniques have to be properly executed too, adding another layer of complexity.

Take the Kamehameha mode for instance. Cradling the globe in your hands will emit sounds of crackling energy, and maintaining that pose will upgrade your Kamehameha upgrade to level two with even cooler sound effects. Charge it for too long though, and the ball will dim and abruptly go silent, signalling that the energy you labored so hard to gather has fizzled out. To prevent an annoyed Goku from berating you with a “What are you doing!?” you’ll have to physically thrust your arms out as if you’re actually firing off a Kamehameha, which will result in a satisfying explosion.

▼ The Kamehameha Ball contains
more than 60 phrases and 30 sounds.

No one is born an expert at slinging energy balls though, so Goku’s voice in practice mode guides you through how to fire off his signature move. Just chant along, cradle the ball in a powerful stance, and fire off the perfect Kamehameha.

Finally, training mode is where it gets really interesting. It’s like a vocal minigame of sorts, where Goku will randomly spout instructions for you to shoot consecutive Kidan at enemies, wait briefly, or fire off a single shot. It’s game over if you input movements incorrectly three times, but continuous success lets you unlock higher levels of Kamehameha (up to level four) and Spirit Bombs (up to level three) for future use.

Each upgrade features even cooler explosions, so it’s something that all aspiring Super Saiyans should work towards. Through Goku’s voice in training mode, you will also get to encounter classic Dragon Ball villains like Frieza who can only be defeated by flawlessly executing the appropriate Kamehameha or Spirit Bomb.

▼ A commercial for the Kamehameha Ball.

The Flying Nimbus cushion and Kamehameha Ball are both available online at Premium Bandai.

Equip yourself with a squishy cloud and a pulsating ball of energy in your hands, and you’ll find no place unreachable, no foe too formidable. With enough practice, you might even rack up more kills than Goku himself.

Source: Premium Bandai via @Press
Images: @Press


Mr. Sato marries a handsome anime man in VR at Tokyo Game Show 2017

They say VR is a powerful tool, but is it enough to make our grizzled reporter swoon like a blushing bride?

It is said that for many women a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime day in which she becomes the star and sole focal point of her world. And of course, if the husband-to-be was a strapping, handsome partner, then all the better.

That just about summed up Mr. Sato’s knowledge of marriage. Preoccupied by his giant burgers and pole dancing, our reporter has had little time to settle down with anyone. But this was all about to change at Tokyo Game Show 2017.

At a booth promoting the romance simulator game Chikai no Kiss wa Totsuzen ni (A Vow’s Kiss Suddenly) visitors can experience first-hand what it would be like to marry one of the game’s protagonists, Yamato Kogami (Voiced by Hikaru Midorikawa).

Far off from our 43-year-old writer’s life, the chance to become a young bride was somewhat compelling, and yet he was pretty sure it would be so foreign that he could never properly get into the experience.

Looking at the posters, Mr. Sato thought that Mr. Kogami seemed handsome enough, and he could see why women might become a little weak-kneed when in his presence at the altar. Mr. Sato was a battle-hardened crusty old man at this point though, so surely Mr. Kogami’s charms would fall flat.

Still, there was only one way to find out!

Mr. Sato easily slapped on the headset, popped on the headphones, and grabbed onto a controller with each hand. It was time to walk down the aisle…

Suddenly, Mr. Sato awoke in a small virtual chapel. It was completely empty until Mr. Sato’s Mr. Right entered. He looked just like he did in the poster, but much taller than our reporter expected, almost imposingly so.

Mr. Kogami’s voice was nice and relaxing, but was affecting Mr. Sato strangely. Rather than this VR experience simply bouncing off his masculinity, he began feeling very uncomfortable and anxious.

Looking down, Mr. Sato noticed that he was wearing a veil and a white dress was draped along his delicate, slender frame. The only thing keeping him grounded in his reality was the faint waft of old man smell that he carried with him.

Then, just as he looked back up, Mr. Kogami leaned in…close. He was only whispering into Mr. Sato’s ear, but his words were deafening, like a wet hairdryer slurping and buzzing ever closer to his ear as it said:

“You look amazingly beautiful…”

Meanwhile, in the VR room, the real Mr. Sato recoiled and shouted “eh, gross!” Then another breathy moist-lipped utterance came.

“I want to see your face properly…”

“I love you.”

Then Mr. Kogami leaned in and kissed the bride. Mr. Sato cried “Noooo!” and the simulation faded to black.

Mr. Sato can’t quite explain the experience but it certainly left its mark on his psyche. He felt violated in a way…kind of like he had just lost something very valuable. He thought, “Is this what it’s like to be a woman getting married?”

In spite of his own conflicted feelings, Mr. Sato noticed that the VR marriage booth was very popular with women. It you’d like to try it out then be prepare for a wait of up to 100 minutes. And if you’re an old dude who would like to try it out, we can’t guarantee you’ll come out unaffected in some way.

Source: Voltage
Images: SoraNews24


8 Answers To The Pressing Questions You Will Ask Yourself Before You Have Period Sex

Picture this. You're with your partner and things are really starting to heat up. You want it. They want it. But here's the problem, it's shark week in your pants. Surely all sexuality must halt immediately, right? There's no chance they would be OK with it, even if you kinda, sorta, totally want to. But what if it's, like, really hot? And you start to wonder, “Is it finally time to ditch that taboo?” Should you have sex on your period?

Whats holding you back? Is it because it's so “gross?” If you are feeling squeamish about period sex, I don't blame you. We've been trained to feel shame about menstruation from first moment we saw a disembodied hand pour blue liquid into a winged pad on TV. But here's the thing: All that shame and stigma (stigmata?) is total garbage. And one of the best ways to let go of that is, believe it or not, by embracing a three-way with Aunt Flo. Hell, it even has a theme song now thanks to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. (Did I just get that song stuck in your head, too? Sorry!)

If you're riding the crimson wave but wish you were riding something else, here are some questions to ask yourself.

1. Is It Safe To Have Sex On My Period?

No, haven't you heard? During your period, your vagina spits acid and if it senses a penis nearby, your uterus may wander right out after it!

But seriously, of course it's safe. In fact, there are even health benefits to having sex during your special lady time. So, if the mood strikes you and your partner, have at that period sex!

2. Is It Weird That I Really Want To?

Not at all! It's actually totally common to be more aroused during your period because your pelvic area and genitals are swollen, which makes them more sensitive. The end result is that you're more likely to wanna get freaky when you're leaky.

3. Should I Be Embarrassed If It Gets Messy?

Girl, it's gonna get messy, but no, you shouldn't be embarrassed. Your period is a totally natural process and you are only ashamed of it because of outside pressure to feel that way. The truth is that your partner is probably a lot less weirded out about it than TV, movies, the internet, etc. all have lead you to believe. Studies show that about 30 percent of couples want to have more period sex.

4. Should I Be Worried That He Will Get Grossed Out?

Is he worried you're grossed out when he ejaculates? Nope. I think you know where I'm going with this.

5. Is There A Way To Make It Less Messy?

If you are concerned about keeping it tidy, you do have some options. For one thing, you always want to lay down a towel first; it just makes the clean up easy later. But also, you can wear a menstrual cup or female condom to decrease or prevent bleeding during sex.

Also, sex positions can make a big difference. Missionary is probably your best bet because… gravity. Or you can also just opt for some good ol' shower sex. But honestly, don't overthink it. You'd be surprised how much you both DGAF when it really comes down to it.

6. Will It Make My Cramps Worse?

Still on the fence about period sex? Consider this: Orgasms are natural pain relievers! Yes, having sex during your period may actually make your period better. In fact, the contractions caused by orgasm can shorten your period by helping to please the lining faster. And you thought orgasms couldn't get any better!

7. Do I Still Need To Use A Condom?

Yes, yes, yes. The answer is always yes. You may think that because you are on your period you don't need to worry about birth control. But no, you can still get pregnant on your period. Some women's ovulation overlaps with menstruation, and sperm can live in the uterus for up to five days, so it's possible to ovulate during that time. Also, STDs do not take your period off, so you need to safeguard your and your partner's health by taking the same precautions you would at any other time of the month. Wrap. It. Up.

8. Will I Need Lube?

Just kidding. Obviously not.

You've asked the questions, and I think you know the answer: Yes! to period sex.

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8 Answers To The Pressing Questions You Will Ask Yourself Before You Have Period Sex

Credit: Dating – Elite Daily